We didn’t learn anything! It gets less scientific every week!
Over 20,000 rocks are kept as pets by Americans, often in overcrowded conditions.
These caged rocks are not treated like the happy pet rocks of the 70s, but are crammed into their cages often over 50 to a cubic meter. This severely stunts the rock’s growth, many rocks not appearing to grow at all.
Contrast this with the free-range rock which can literally grow to the size of a mountain range when properly fed and cared for. Paul Thompson of the U.S. Geological Survey explains, “People often forget that rocks are living beings. Sure they don’t breathe or eat or reproduce or move or excrete or mate or grow or die or show any form of intelligence or emotion or concern for their own well being or have any discernible organs or even cells or come to harm if treated poorly or really show any sign whatsoever of life as we know it, but they deserve better than this.”
We at FIJMU support the Plea For Rock Rights Troop (PFRRT) and hope that someday all pet rocks like those pictured above will be set free, to uh… Lie there.
This is simultaneously cool-looking and absolutely terrifying.